The questions they ask…and what we would like to say

Are you open?  I am not the Spar sir.

Do you do watersports? Well no, but I go to the gym alot

Do you offer owo? No, not really. But I’m going to say yes because I want the cash. When you arrive- I develop amnesia

Are you really 21? Of course not. Im 31, but I have candles and a fine optimism

Is the price open to negotiation? Yes, you negotiate and I laugh at you

What do you really like? Money. If I could get away with asking you to post it through the letterbox I would

Can I book to see you next week? Do you really think I know what I am doing next week?

How many clients do you see? As many as I can. Usually thrush or rheumatism kicks in.

Why don’t you post on message boards? Too many creeps in one place also give me thrush

Do you enjoy reverse oral? That depends if you dribble, bite, or are generally untrained

Will you join me in the shower? Sigh. Yes. If only to ensure you don’t dodge the soap

Can I see you early? Say, 8am?  Have you gone entirely mad?  Whoever said sex in the morning is sexy hasn’t seen me without coffee and makeup. Plus decompression time.

Have you got a strap on? Yes, but the strap is broken. So now its a dildo, with hand strap. I’m creative.

Why do you do this? Im a masochist with aspirations.

 

 

How does it feel to be reviewed?

Well for me, fine. Because when I need to vent..I review you too.

Time: 11.51 AM

Place: His, rather sad run down semi just off the high street. Floral curtains, carpets could do with a clean plus a slight smell of stale cat. I used the bathroom, there was fungus behind the radiator so I did not use the towel. The towel was pink.

Description: John B. Hunter is around 46 and a half, maybe 9 months. He describes himself as being 42, but hey ho, a punt is a punt so there we go. He is pale skinned, with an auburn hued comb over and slightly watery eyes. His love handles are voluptuous, and when at last his cock appears from under his midriff it is white, with a purple head and a vein running slightly to the left. All in all, Mr. Average personified.

The Meeting: After John was finally persuaded to stop lapping at my face like the andrex puppy gone wrong, I managed to position him on the bed and perform fellatio…this was slightly impeded by the fact that John continually jerked his hips in a staccato fashion, forcing me to suffocate on his larger than average ball sack. He then requested to return the favour on me – I surrendered.

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Remember massage parlours? Be nice to your local escorts….

What Some Girls/ Establisments Say And What They Really Mean The Guide For Newbies

"With baby oil? Only 20e extra"

“We open at 11.00″ – the woman with the keys arrives at 11.15 and the masseuses get in at noon.

“Last massage is at 8.00″ – last massage is at 7.15; we lock up at 7.45

“She’s a BBW” –  She is 22 Stone and you will need a crane to get there

”She  is booked up” – Fuck knows where she is, but if you find her please tell her to call

“She’s a cuddly BBW” – she’s clinically obese

“She’s a mature 40 year old!” – she’s over 50

“She’s a mature 50 year old” -she’s at the Post Office cashing her pension

“Today we have Sasha, Louise will be in shortly” – we’ve rung Louise’s home and mobile, we’ve no bloody idea where she is.
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After careful research…..

More and more posts recently referring to wg’s in terms that imply we are a seperate breed – there are Men, Women and  WG’s.  As WG’s we are more like aliens!

Women- Men- WG's? Are we the Alien Breed?

Well I have done a little research (in my own time, at my own expense, with no Government Grant) and these are my findings.

i) Most working girls have dated someone they regretted wasting their time on, at some point in their life.
(Unfortunately I discovered most Women have done this too, so that buggered up the research).

ii) Almost all wg’s feel it’s very important to get paid for the job they do.
(Unfortunately I discovered most Women feel this too, so that buggered up the research).

iii) Some working girls have tight vaginas, whilst some have less tight vaginas.
(Unfortunately I discovered all Women fall into one category or the other too, so that buggered up the research).

iv) Some working girls have a shocking attitude towards men. Continue reading