Escorting vs Love

In  7 years in this line of work I have met many men. More than I care to say if I’m honest (no I don’t keep count that would be uncouth!). Most of them are unmemorable, your typical average Joe who drives a Vauxhall, stays for 30 mins and sends you a little text after to say thanks. I love this kind of man. Non nonsense emotion free regular client.

But one day over a year ago I met different type of man. This man was in a sense still your average Joe. Only he drove a Fiat, stayed for an hour and I fell head over heels in love with him.

He was by no means rich, he wasn’t Brad Pitt and he didn’t even tip! But. He made me laugh uncontrollably, made me orgasm till the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end and he always looked me right in the eye. I knew from that very first appointment that this was going to be dangerous. I knew it but for all my smarts I couldn’t help myself falling for him.

I love him and he loves me- parfait. I’m sure you want to know how it has ended- well tough. I’m keeping shtum. My situation itself is unimportant.The situation that I wonder about- is it worth quitting for a man?

You see most often as an escort you meet your parter in work. He books you as an escort, you have a great (seriously awesome) time and then emotions start to get involved. From my own personal experience and from what I know of others, this is where it starts to get tricky.

A lot of men expect that now you are in a relationship with them you’ll hang up your stockings and take on a minimum wage job in your local Tescos. The fact that you are now “with” them means that escorting is no longer an appropriate job. To some degree I understand this, I mean what man wants his lady to be shagging other guys. However I feel that they need to realise that most of us see it as just a job. For the most part we are actresses. Whilst we may provide a girl friend like service we do it for pay. Disconnected from our relationships and nothing more than sex.

It is hard to explain this to your now boyfriend. Beacaus while h was your client he may have understood. It’s just sex. But the fact that he knows you fell emotionally involved with him means he knows it could happen again. It is human insecurity at it’s most basic I guess.

As an escort you are put in a awful position. Your career and independence VS your man. You have grown accustomed to a certain way of life. Being your own boss, making good money etc but now this man wants you to give it up for him! What do you do?

Agree that you will quit hoping you can settle in to a “normal” way of life? I mean what’s “normal” anyway? All the while hoping you won’t grow to resent him for changing your life. Hoping that your relationship will work otherwise you will have wasted X amount of time with this man.

Or tell him no. No you won’t quit. He met you and fell in love with you while you were escorting. He knew what you did and was fine with it. But now he wants you to change for him? Surely you are not meant to try and change the ones you love!?

I know what I did.

What would you do?

Advertisements

5 comments on “Escorting vs Love

  1. Chill says:

    Of course deep down the guy isn’t going to be thrilled with your work but he knew from the start what was what. I think if the guy really likes you and wants you to be happy then he won’t or wouldn’t try and change what your doing. Speaking for myself and I liked the girl then I wouldn’t try and change what she does. Of course trust is vital.

  2. Eileen Lang says:

    I am “old skool” I am afraid.

    I am glad you introduced the elephant in the room…

    Fact:
    When you work with so many guys (doesn’t really matter if it is sex work or construction…except construction? Not a good idea right now), there is a high probability that, sooner or later, you are going to run into “the one” (and a few seriously hot rides, who are *not* *the one* but, if the recipe requires *the one* will probably do)…which is of course where sex work and construction differ…apart from the obvious fact that the only place you will meet *the one* in construction is the dole queue, which is, trust me, SO not going to work out. Because, if you are a sex worker, and he is *the one*, you are going to have to do this weird psycho-emotional double back flip of making all the right noises in spite of having to pretend you are *NOT* on a rocket ship to paradise (youm think sex workers are a different species? THINK AGAIN.).

    Now, trust me, office romances is a very deep form of doo doo to land in without*that*, which unfortunate reality only inspires the love gremlins to go into overdrive.

    So anyway, there you are, every second thursday, wrapped in the arms of a guy you lie awake at night dreaming about being wrapped in the arms of 7 days a week. How DO you deal with that?

    …bearing in mind that, in sex work, you meet a lot of really lovely, appealing guys and unless it is pretty darn serious you are not even going to notice anything, let alone wish to remark it…NOT QUITE the same position you are in when your eyes meet with that hottie from accounting by the water cooler, is it now?

    You are not really in a place where “I kinda like you, could we go for coffee some time” is going to hack it, cos, honestly? You kinda like most of the guys you see a second time…and that is not a big deal…this is a BIG deal.

    Happened to me twice…

    Once…literally “the white lightening” mid work situation…which would be tricky enough if you were selling timeshares…

    A newly qualified dentist (how “Ruth Ellis” is that? …and if you see this, darlin’ I was this >< far from spontaneously crawling from LA to New York for you, just wasn't the time or the place).

    The second was the guy I probably could and should have spent the rest of my life with.

    See here is the thing, as I said at the beginning, I am "old skool". I couldn't afford to stop working, so the guys had to go…because there is no way I was going to use someone I loved as a meal ticket, and there was no way I could feel the way I felt and go back to work.

    But that's just me…

  3. Oh god been there on 2 occasions. It takes a strong man to accept your job and not many can handle it. My advice to ya is lady-if you want the glamour, the cash, the thrill and the independence in this line of work never commit yourself to a man whilst doing so. It’ll totally drain the life out you and isn’t worth the emotional aground.

  4. Luz says:

    I am in this situation right now. It is literally tearing me apart, I don’t know how to handle it. I can’t work, I know that I need to but the thought of it is just too difficult to handle because for some stupid reason I am hanging on to the chance that MAYBE something might happen and he changes his mind.

    What the fuck was I thinking?! I can’t help it, i just love to be in love…

    sad.

  5. rappidfinish says:

    It is a tough one, I have a feeling I am one of the average Joe’s of the world. I am honest, reliable, hard working etc but most definately average. I visit escorts to give my confidence a boost and make me feel good. I have had many failed relationships where I tried to be superman for my partner. I would give anything to meet the woman who really wants to spend the rest of her life with me.So to the man who was lucky enough to find real love although she is an escort, I would say don’t be a fool life is short and if it feels right you have to find a way of blocking out the obstacles.

    I think it would be tough for any man to stay with a woman who sleeps with men for a living. However people cheat all the time on their partners and live a lie. Which is worse? To me if a woman wants to sell sex then fair play to her for having the intelligence to make a good living from every mans weakness. Life is not easy and high paying jobs are not falling from trees. I never go to an escort expecting love I am just happy that some of these incredible women have treated me so well, like a lover. Yes it is an act, but most of them have left me feeling incredible. I feel that if this ever happened to me I would go with my heart and make the most of the time we spend together. You can give your body to many but your heart only has room for one.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s