The questions they ask…and what we would like to say

Are you open?  I am not the Spar sir.

Do you do watersports? Well no, but I go to the gym alot

Do you offer owo? No, not really. But I’m going to say yes because I want the cash. When you arrive- I develop amnesia

Are you really 21? Of course not. Im 31, but I have candles and a fine optimism

Is the price open to negotiation? Yes, you negotiate and I laugh at you

What do you really like? Money. If I could get away with asking you to post it through the letterbox I would

Can I book to see you next week? Do you really think I know what I am doing next week?

How many clients do you see? As many as I can. Usually thrush or rheumatism kicks in.

Why don’t you post on message boards? Too many creeps in one place also give me thrush

Do you enjoy reverse oral? That depends if you dribble, bite, or are generally untrained

Will you join me in the shower? Sigh. Yes. If only to ensure you don’t dodge the soap

Can I see you early? Say, 8am?  Have you gone entirely mad?  Whoever said sex in the morning is sexy hasn’t seen me without coffee and makeup. Plus decompression time.

Have you got a strap on? Yes, but the strap is broken. So now its a dildo, with hand strap. I’m creative.

Why do you do this? Im a masochist with aspirations.




One comment on “The questions they ask…and what we would like to say

  1. Veidt says:

    Brilliant. I think maybe you should have a premade “Frequently asked questions” postcard made – and direct all relevant enquirers to read it beforehand!

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